My Quarter Life Crisis.

Preface: Hi friends, it’s been awhile since I’ve shown up here. Life has taken me on some unexpected paths recently - and as a result, my creative energy has been scarce. I recently heard that for those of us who are big feelers, we must create art to give emotions a place to live. I loved that so much. So, in today’s post, I am creating a home for emotions I’ve never experienced before…leaving a beloved season behind…I hope you enjoy what you read. I’d love to hear your thoughts. :)

You have to be careful about the loose threads that you pull…you never know where the unravelling will lead you. I say that as if unravelling is ever our choice, in my experience it hasn’t been. It’s as though with one small tug careers, friendships, health, identity are no longer a garment woven together, but rather threads begging to be untangled. 

Have you ever been on the forefront of change without knowing it?

That’s been my experience the last 9 months or so - the great unravel. It didn’t come as a feeling of longing for something to change, rather it’s felt a lot more like things that were once a good fit no longer were. I’m a creature of comfort, I like my comfort zone, my comfortable clothes, and yes - comfort food. But somewhere in the last season, the things I’ve found comfortable have been causing me great discomfort. It’s almost as though my metaphorical favourite sweater’s tag started to irritate me out of nowhere. Or, maybe a better metaphor would be this: you know those days you stay in your pyjamas so long you start to feel gross? You may love those PJs, but when it’s noon (or let’s be real, 4PM), they no longer feel comfortable - they’re almost suffocating. But they didn’t change in composition - no what changed was you, and your experience of the PJs. 

That’s how I feel with my life. I’ve grown restless not because anything has changed externally, but because I have changed. 

Here’s the kicker: once you’ve sufficiently rotted in your 4pm PJs it can be extremely hard to get changed. It almost feels like what’s the point? Maybe that’s not such a big deal on a Saturday afternoon, but apply that to a life and YIKES. 

I’ve been incredibly blessed to find a career path early on in my 20s. It’s something a lot of people desire and struggle to find. I couldn’t have guessed that there’d be a cost to it though. The cost of not galavanting, taking risks, and travelling. In short, I think I’ve maybe been taking life (and savings goals) too seriously. 

There are so many things I have yet to do - things I’d really like the experience. Some of my friends are worried about starting their families before 30 and I’m just hoping I make it to Positano before I’m 30. Then when I admit that I’m immediately suspicious that my ambitions are too small and it begs the question: what really is stopping me? 

I fear the answer is simple: it’s me. 

Can I please get out of my own way? 

Here’s the thing about career success: it’s a gift and hard fought for. But I want to live a little more. To have a full life. And to reconnect with parts of myself that I miss. A lot. 

I sure hope it’s not 4PM in my life yet, but hypothetically speaking even if it is, it’s time to get out of the PJs and be less comfortable to be more comfortable. 

Going into 2025, something stirred within me to no longer live in my “PJs”.

In an almost a haunting fashion, I had the thought on New Years Eve: a year from now everything in your life will be different. And within the first 40 days of the year, that has already proven to be true with my unexpected and sudden departure from a job I loved. Granted, it was technically my decision to resign, it also felt like the only choice because of a deep resonance within me that it was time to move on. If you’re highly intuitive you may understand when I say that often times the feelings come before the logic, and the feelings are so strong they’re inescapable. 

So here I am, 1:58AM, unable to sleep. Tomorrow I go into work to end a chapter that’s been many things, but most of all sweet. Despite an ending, I feel like I am on the brink of something entirely new. Something likely less comfortable, yet somehow more comfortable too? I feel restless to fast forward a year and to see how much life has changed. However,  I know change comes at a cost, and for the first time I’ll be sad to see this version of myself dissipate into mere memory. Yet, I am excited to meet the next version that awaits me on the other end of the unraveling. 

I wonder what she’s wearing. 

With love,

From Rachel