I love walls.
Anytime I’m out driving I am looking for walls. They’ve become a staple to my Instagram. I’ll never forget the wall that started it all…
I was 16 and newly licensed. While driving around the thriving metropolis of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan my bestie Adrianna and I spotted a bright blue wall. It was the first wall I ever laid eyes on and was immediately inspired to take photos with it.
I remember I made a list of all props we would need for the photos: cotton candy, diet coke, my Polaroid, and confetti. I planned my outfit, my hair, my make up. Adri and I picked a date and we gathered the supplies, and set off to take the photos. (Note: Adrianna is the photographer 95% of the time and she’s brilliant at it). I was so eager to see my vision come to life! I’ll never forget the response those photos get, it seemed like everyone on my friends list wanted to know where that blue wall was!
I didn’t know it at the time, but this creative outlet would become my favorite creative outlet. It would become my thing.
I had “hit a wall” and it was fantastic.
Fast forward a year and a half to my high school graduation. The wall that I hit at this point in time was less literal and more metaphorical. Also notably a lot less fun.
For all of high school I had had a plan: I knew where I was going to school, what I was going to school for, and I had even spent a large portion of my high school career pouring into that program. I had wavered here and there about what post-secondary schooling might look like, but I ultimately had stuck to my guns. Unfortunately, as soon as I tossed my cap into the air my world changed. I no longer wanted what I once had. I felt older, mature, and I CRAVED the novel freedom of a high school graduate. I had a diploma, but seemed to have somehow misplaced all the drive I once possessed and was making incessant bad choices. However, this isn’t the post where I dive heavily into the mistakes I made during this season of life, but rather what helped me cope and get out of this season.
My unquenchable need for freedom spawned in all sorts of ways. Physically I died my hair drastically and quickly chopped it drastically, I got a couple new piercings, and I began dressing differently, among other things…
I hadn’t been a big believer in retail therapy up until this time in my life. Suddenly I realized it was a legitimate way to cope. I coped a lot. I pretty much “coped” every paycheck away. (Okay, so in hindsight I wish my coping mechanism would have been saving money or eating healthy or even running, but it was shopping and it actually opened my eyes to something really cool). Clothing had been a form of self expression my whole life, which generally meant I was wearing something pretty…”creative”. But along with my changed attitude (emphasis on the attitude) came changed style. I had not had a tangible experience before where my inner life so drastically changed my appearance.
What I realized was that HOW we dress does speak to WHO we are. And that style, no matter how frivolous is CAN be, can also be just as impactful and important.
That season in my life closed (HALLELUJAH). I changed and I walked away knowing myself more and knowing what I wanted more. This awareness of style being important has meant I have invested time into making my dorm room a space friends want to be in. It means I do spend time thinking about my Instagram’s because I want my followers to see something pretty. It means that I’ve chosen to express my creativity by engaging the world in a way that gives style a purpose and a chance to enrich my life, and not just my appearance.
Twice in my life I’ve hit “walls”. The first time I began to invest into primarily my Instagram and I was worried about how I would be perceived… after all it can be vain, and frivolous, and does it really even matter? The second time, I was in a place where not a lot mattered to me at all, except style. This time I wasn’t concerned about seeming vain, instead I embraced it. I reduced style to a purely materialistic aspect of life. I realized that while you can do that successfully, the opposite is also possible. You can use style (whether that be clothes, photos, spaces) into a meaningful aspect of life.
So friends, I invite you to follow my life. I invite you to not join a blog about looks, or about materialism. Rather, I invite you to a blog about a life where you can find purpose in every aspect, even in the simple things like how you decorate your room or get dressed.